When you are in between jobs careers, relationships, or phases of life you are in a state of becoming. It’s a state that we all experience, but rarely discuss as a stage. This makes it even more challenging to navigate.
The School of Becoming is a place where we seek to understand how to navigate this space, learning from experts and people like you and me about what it means to become, professionally and personally.
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I am looking forward to welcoming you all as Student of Becoming, hear about story, and supporting you on your journey.
Fuel Your Becoming
I love this prompt, but it is challenging to answer. Every time I do it, it takes me a while to focus on myself and not think about my friends, girlfriend, or parents. But once I get into the flow of writing, what I write helps me to discover what I truly long to create in my life, and serves as an inspiration to make small changes.
In the past I came up with ideas of being a train conductor that travels North America, a stay at home son and friend, and a world problem conference organizer. And while I know I won‘t change my life in these radical ways, these ideas show me what’s missing or what i need to cultivate in my life.
For example, They inspired me to dedicate more quality time with my loved ones, play chess with my dad, learn photography from my brother, and paint with my mom.
So I challenge you, to ask yourself:
What would I want to do next if money, fame and the opinions of others weren‘t a thing?
I can’t do this! This was how I felt two weeks ago when I thought about launching an online life design course. I had taught this course for the last 8 years, yet I felt like I couldn’t do it.
Teaching students about imposter syndrome, and missing self-efficacy (your belief in your ability to perform), I knew that there was a way to overcome this. Never the less it was challenging to engage.
According to research there are four ways or keys to overcome this barrier and build your belief in your abilities. So, I thought I would run a little experiment. Based on what I knew, I had the following five options based on these four keys that I knew would – theoretically – improve my belief in my abilities:
- Find someone like me who did what I want to do.
- Find people I trust and that can give you a pep talk.
- Practice to get an experience that shows me, I can do it.
- Get someone with experience, who can hold your hand.
- Keep your psychological and physiological state in mind. e.g. I have more willpower in the morning.
Here what I did:
- I searched (and watched) videos of other professors who developed their own courses – after all I feel closer to them than to internet marketers. Nerd alert!
- I reached out with a LinkedIn video and an email to people I trust and worked with to ask “Should I do this” and “Would you Join me.” The feedback was amazing and it really encouraged me to take the next step.
- I discussed this idea with my girlfriend – who has marketing experience – and who gave me another pep talk.
- Lastly, I did most of these things first thing in the morning. This prevented me from overthinking it and feeling low on energy.
And now, two weeks later, I finally trusted myself to put a landing page up offering my Life Design course online, for the first time. The page isn’t finished, yet – it will launch tomorrow. However, doing the things I did, especially talking to people about it, did not only effect my belief, but also my motivation! I am really excited, which I didn’t expect.
This is a question I asked myself two weeks ago, when I thought about taking my Life Design university class online.
I was unsure whether or not I should do it. I lacked the trust in my ability to pull it off as I wondered “can I do this,” “would people be interested,” … So I asked myself “Who do I need to hear from, in order to trust myself to do this?”
The answer: You! So I recorded a short video, posted it on LinkedIn, and anxiously waited for the response. While the ask was easy, waiting for the response was a little nerve wrecking. But what followed, blew me away.
Former students, clients, friends, and fellow Students of Becoming reached out. The provided encouragement, reminded me of past successes that I already forgot about, and offered their help. Further, some reached out and asked if they could pre-book a spot. It was amazing and gave me the confidence I needed to start building the course page. But, enough about me.
What do I need to hear, and from whom, in order to trust myself?
You don’t have to do this publicly, an email, a call, or a DM might do the trick. Beyond a public outreach, I email friends, experts, my girlfriend, or my mom <3 to hear what I need to hear to trust myself.
This means that 75-80% of us lie to themselves about our self-awareness!
If you want to know if you are self-aware or if you lie to yourself, check out this free online self-test developed by Dr. Tasha Eurich based on her research: https://www.insight-book.com/quiz
#selfawarness #selfawarnessjourny #selfaware #selfawarnessiskey #selfawarnesstest #reflection #growthmindset #developyourselfawarness
It can be so freeing to say these things, but we often fear the hurt that comes with it, although things might be better in the long run. But saying what needs to be said is sometimes essential to be seen for and thus become the person that you want to be next.
For me, a big thing is to tell people NO! No, I don’t want this job. No, I don’t want to coach you for free, although you are a friend. No, I don’t want to write this paper or talk about this topic that I am no longer interested in.
If I do say no, I feel guilt and relief at the same time. Guilty for not helping or engaging and relieved because I am free to pursue what I want to pursue.
What is it that you don’t say that needs to be said?
I discovered Jon‘s book, listening to an interview he gave at The School Of Greatness podcast. What I liked about Jon’s work is that he simplified the four possible career transitions into a simple framework. So, if you …
- Hit a career bump (e.g. unexpected layoff) – try relying on your relationships.
- Hit a career ceiling – learn new skills that matter to your boss, company, or industry, hear dig deep to find the skills you already have and could use more deliberately at work (e.g. Christmas party PLANNING, LISTENING to co-workers problems, …).
- Seek a career jump (a.k.a. do your own thing) – develop your character, here Jon recommends cultivating generosity (give more than you receive), empathy (How would you feel in their shoes?), and presence (being in the moment and paying attention).
- Go after a career opportunity – dedicate yourself to and put the effort in (hustle).
Taken together, relationships, skills, character (and hustle) equate to what Jon calls and trademarked the Career Savings Account™. This made me wonder how the account would apply to people hitting “career dead-end.” Ideas?